From chaos to the most peaceful place on earth

‘What the hell am I doing?’ ‘What have I got myself into?’ These were my thoughts all the way from Brisbane to Sydney, Sydney to Darwin, Darwin to Mumbai, and especially in the taxi from the airport to my hotel. More on that in a moment!

Saying goodbye was of course awful. My sobbing attracted stares and Thurstan even had to shush me. I cried all the way to Sydney. Luckily the flight was not full so the man next to me hastily moved to another seat the moment the seat belt light went off so as not to sit next to the crazy, sniffling girl for an hour. Then we changed to the international flight in Sydney and there was no turning back.

Now I’m trying to think if any other captain for any other airline would provide cricket updates throughout the flight. That’s what our Qantas captain did. And the Indian kids were rather excited as India’s form was much better than the first test. India could well be more fanatical about cricket than Australia.

We arrived in Mumbai at about 6.30pm and a balmy 30 degrees celsius (for the benefit of my North American friends). I was fortunate to meet Karen who was my neighbour for the international flight. She is studying her masters in mental health and was selected to study the management of health in a developing country at grass roots level. She has been posted to a village that is so small, it’s not on our lonely planet map. She was spending a couple of days in the chaos that is Mumbai so we shared a cab.

Now, to those who I have travelled with to Egypt and Morocco, you thought they were crazy drivers. They’ve got nothing on Mumbai drivers, who I’m sure have the most acute sense of spatial awareness on the planet! I swear we came within millimetres of other cars, but not once did I see an accident.

I don’t think there is anything that can prepare you for this drive. We passed high rises, billboards, cafes, restaurants, and then slums with corrugated iron walls and roofs and these appear to be the deluxe ones because we then saw people eating and sleeping on the street, with cardboard or tarp for cover. And then it was more high rises, billboards, cafes etc and then more slums. So just when you think you are prepared, with all the warnings in the literature and accounts from other people, the craziness and devastation still hits you with full force.

I know homelessness is a part of any major city in any country in the world. However, nothing compares to the sheer scale of poverty in Mumbai. It was actually in the plane on the way out to Colombo during daylight hours that this truly became apparent. Slums have been erected right next to the air strip with only a small, easy to climb fence separating the two. These slums went for miles and in the distance, I could just see the high rises through the smog. How does one deal with this visual snapshot? What was even more staggering was there were men sitting on a hillside waving as the planes went by, with massive smiles on their faces. And then there were kids who had created a makeshift cricket pitch and were laughing and playing as if they were the luckiest kids and happiest kids on earth. They just don’t seem to have the unhappiness or depression that is so profound in western culture. They seem to get joy out of the little things that we often overlook because we are too busy or in too much of a hurry for no real or at least significant reason.

There is no doubt though that their life is a difficult one. Especially when you see the other extreme to Mumbai and that is the conspicuous extravagance of the rich. When taking a cab to Chowpatty beach, Karen and I saw an outdoor function area set up for what appeared to be weddings and possibly other events. There appeared to be no expense spared as a horse and carriage not unlike what one imagines Cinderella had for the ball, parked out the front. The contrast was remarkable.

Mumbai has such extremes as well as everything in between. But the city seems to work and it has a charm that I don’t think is mirrored anywhere else in the world. I have learned a lot in just two days and I now obligingly impart some useful tips for anyone who dares to visit:

• Trust your taxi driver. As much as you fear for your life, he has probably saved it 5 times over with his manic but knowledgeable driving skills. And tipping for the pleasure of saving your life is very much appreciated, especially when cab rates are as low as 5 pounds of a 1.5 hours trip!
• Take your passport with you where ever you go. For some reason, India has made ID necessary for everything from buying something at the department store, to using the internet. There are signs everywhere at the internet café warning against the use of terrorist related sites as well as pornographic sites, which carries an equally severe punishment of imprisonment. So watch out guys (or girls)!
• 5-10 minutes normally means 45 minutes to an hour. Just take this as gospel, as Indians rarely deviate from this well known fact!
• Don’t look at anyone selling anything more than once. They will follow you and you will end up buying it.
• Don’t even look at the stray dogs more than once. They will follow you too!
• Men, you are apparently free to pee wherever and whenever you have the desire. It is not uncommon to find a man against the fence with a puddle around his feet. In fact, our taxi driver did it half way through our journey into Mumbai.
• Men, you are also free to cough up a lung and spit it out on the street. It even appears that the louder and more disgusting you are, the better!
• Ladies, it is best to say you are married when asked (and you undoubtedly will be, normally before ‘what is your name?’ and ‘where are you from?’). So Thurstan, we are now married, you are my loving husband and soon we may have some children because that is normally the very next question. Congratulations dad :)
• Visit Chowpatty beach at sunset. It is an amazing spectacle, partly due to the pollution which helps create every shade of red and orange in the sky. The open air food stalls are a delight and the men who work there take great delight in watching you eat. For a mere 15p, you can sample 6 pieces of the local delicacy (crunchy bread like shells filled with chickpeas and a sweet and spicy soup like sauce…yummy!). I am also pleased to report that we are still solid, even after tempting fate and having ice in my drink. Just trying to toughen up the guts in preparation for the next five months.
• Elephanta Island is amazing and for a mere one pound fifty pence, the local guides are not too bad. Of course, I have no idea if the tales of Shiva and the demons are true, but he made a great story teller in any event. The only downside is you witness just how smoggy the city is because as you depart the Gateway to India by boat (which is quite a spectacle), the harbour disappears within a mere kilometre. This brings me to my next tip…
• Don’t blow your nose for the first time while sitting in a café, with other people. The stuff that comes out of your nose is so disgusting, you wonder how you are still alive after breathing it in for an entire day. I’m sure the unlucky couple saw the revulsion that I expelled from my nose. London has nothing on Mumbai for snot discolouration!
• Don’t be surprised to see men in suits playing cricket. It appears to be the favourite past time and a common lunch time activity. It was great watching them play with the backdrop being the gorgeous High Court and University buildings. Mumbai’s architecture is really beautiful.
• A cheap hotel room is cheap for a reason. Opt for a private bath and unless you want to squat in the communal toilet or have a baby wipe shower for three days rather than use the festering shower, pay the 20 pounds rather than the 5 pounds. You won’t regret it.
  Try local food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. This place is a veggie’s dream with more than half of the menu catering for vegetarians. And the curries are delicious and ridiculously cheap.
• Take plenty of insect repellant. Total bite count so far is 36 bites. Let’s hope those malaria tablets are working!
• Laura and Rach, I am pleased to confirm that wobbling the head is widespread. I am yet to master it without looking like a moron. For those that have not read Shantaram, the author refers to the practice of Indians moving their head as they talk and greet each other. It is very endearing and seems to be used in a variety of scenarios.
• Finally, the best thing to do is have a laugh. People are extremely friendly. And although you are tempted to be sceptical and assume everyone is out to rip you off, it is best to keep a positive attitude and enjoy yourself. Of course, there are some that are out to get you. It happened within 2 minutes of getting off the plane as the pre-paid taxi guy tried to charge 380 rupees when only 330 rupees was written on the receipt. I kept asking what this ‘surcharge’ was for and he finally relented and gave my 50 rupees back. Of course, this is the equivalent of 65p but it’s the principle and besides, that is the cost of a veg thali!

So the time came to leave and I got on a plane to Colombo. I noticed the difference immediately. Instead of slums surrounding the air strip, it was farmland and palm trees.

My driver picked me up in the MEF/WSPA truck (Millenium Elephant Foundation/Wildlife Society for the Protection of Animals) and we set out on the 2 hour drive to the elephant sanctuary. It started to get dark but the humidity was so high, I was so relieved the truck had air con, which the driver, Ashoka, allowed me to have on high (poor dude was probably freezing!).

Sri Lanka is still a very rural country with most people living (probably by choice) in rural areas rather than the larger cities. This means that while nearly every part of the country is inhabited, there is so much greenery and a rustic charm that is irresistible.

My driver spoke little English but I managed to find out the sanctuary has 10 elephants, he is one of their drivers and that is his only job, he has a 12 year old son named Asanka, and he was married but he said his wife went to Kuwait and never came back :( I don’t know what happened but he said the middle east is a bad place so I’m guessing she was caught in a bomb attack or something like that. So then in the next breath, he asks if I ‘want water’ and he will ‘make stop’. And he said this with a huge smile after telling me his wife was gone! The friendly nature and smiling faces of Sri Lankan people is unbelievable. I am in love with this place and it’s only been 30 minutes!

When we arrived after a harrowing, but no where near as bad as Mumbai, drive, I met Carminie (MEF founder) and her son Sandith (Assistant Director). I was exhausted so they showed me my room and I went to sleep almost immediately. And yes, I still hadn’t showered since I left but that would have to wait until the morning.

I am the only volunteer here because tourism is so low due to the tsunami and recent bombings in Colombo. So they are allowing me to stay in the family home rather than the volunteer bungalow which is detached a little bit away from the house. They didn’t want me in there alone. The house is beautiful and I guess it’s what they call a colonial style house with beautiful antique looking furniture. My bed is a four poster bed with mosquito net of course. I have my own bathroom and some guests to keep me company like 3 frogs and some geckos. I did have a scary hairy spider visit me but thank goodness it hasn’t been back.

They let me unpack and settle in for the first day. What I’m about to do finally hit me when I was sitting on the patio sipping my tea and the mahout (elephant handler) and his elephant strolled past! WOW! I fought the urge to run up and continued sipping my tea and took in my surreal surroundings.

I have my meals at the restaurant across the street which makes Sri Lankan and western meals. So when I get sick of curry for breakfast, I can switch to cheese and tomato omelette.

Local transport is bus (which crams in as many people as possible) or tuk-tuk, a three wheeler. I braved the tuk-tuk into the closest town, Kegalle. Now the roads are not the smoothest and the suspension on these things is non-existent. So what you get is a white woman bouncing around uncontrollably all over the back of the tuk-tuk, trying to find a stable position. Everyone else who went past in one seemed to stay still! I’m sure my driver deliberately went over large potholes as the spectacle would have been quite amusing. I mastered the stance on the way back, probably much to my driver’s displeasure, so it was much more enjoyable.

The towns are very cute. They have everything you need (including tyre replacement centre due to the potholes), everything is just on a smaller scale. I can’t wait to explore more of this beautiful place so I spend my evenings planning excursions to as many places as possible.

Sorry for the rambling. There is just so much to tell!